Teachings: Mitzvah Guidance

The Bat Mitzvah Girl Who Loved Horses

Are there tasteful limits for B'nei Mitzvah? B Mitzvah! The Bar/Bat Mitzvah (R)evolution continues here
By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

There was a twelve-year-old girl who loved horses. She was preparing to become bat mitzvah and insisted on horseback rides for her friends in the synagogue parking lot as well as centerpieces with famous horses depicted upon them. She also wanted to wear her riding hat when she read Torah. What to do? What’s a parent or rabbi to say?

Reb Goldie: “Ashley, I’m so impressed by your love of animals, especially horses, that I’ve brought you some information from Judaism about animals and horses.”

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Major Contrasts in Jewish Practice

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Because change is one of the constants of Jewish life, the variations in customs, laws, and practices at any point in our history are quite fascinating. It’s important from the outset for you to be fully aware that individual homes, congregations, and even certain neighborhoods and individual communities within those neighborhoods, have their own uniquely nuanced Jewish culture, norms, and guidelines. For example, there are Jewish communities where the norm is:

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Visualization: Torah and Her Garments

B-Mitzvah (R)evolution
By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Imagine it is time for you to go up to the Torah, perhaps your bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah. You are about to become a witness and participant in the reading and interpretation of Torah. Go ahead, approach the aron, the ark; it represents the Ark of the Covenant, in which the Israelites carried the carved tablets with the Ten Commandments in the wilderness. The doors of the ark are opened. You will cross a threshold in your life as an elder or leader of the community places the Torah in your arms. The sacred mantle of leadership is upon you.

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Understanding & Appreciating the Jewish Calendar

What are the blackout dates for Jewish rites of passage?
By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

For those scheduling Jewish life cycle ceremonies there are hundreds of available dates as well as a number of black-out dates when rites cannot be held.

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Guidelines for Setting a Date and Time for a Jewish Rite of Passage

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Guidelines for Setting a Date and Time for a Jewish Rite of Passage

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Do Children Belong Under the Huppah?

Are there good alternatives?
By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Those who have children of their own, or in the family, and who are planning a Jewish wedding often wonder as to the wisdom of involving the children in the ritual. There are a number of considerations involved and every family is different. 

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Bris, Brit, What Is the Jewish Covenant

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

What Is the Jewish Covenant? Entering the Covenant of Jewish Peoplehood

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Healthy Integration of the Sad with the Glad

How to include the memory of loved ones during happy rites of passage
By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

A challenging point in weddings, b'nei mitzvah and baby namings can be the absence of loved ones recently deceased, who are too far off to be able to attend, who are doing military service, or who can’t be present for other reasons. What to do?

• You can have the person leading the rite invoke the absent one’s memory/honor early on, if you wish; immediately after the opening verses of song, psalm or prayer is generally a good spot for this.

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Bris, Brit, What Is the Jewish Covenant

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

What Is the Jewish Covenant? Entering the Covenant of Jewish Peoplehood

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Do Jewish Burials Require a Coffin?

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Dear Rabbi:

My cousin who is dying of pancreatic cancer keeps talking about wanting to be buried without a coffin. Don't Jewish funerals require a plain wooden box?

Thanks for the favor of your reply, Orna

Dear Orna:

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Is Organic Kosher?

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Dear Rabbi:
I'm making the transition into observant Judaism. I've already incorporated many different aspects of Jewish life and practice in my own. The one thing that is most difficult for me is finding kosher meats in my area, specially lamb and red meat, which are meats I love to eat from time to time. Can I purchase organic meats instead, which are more accessible in my area and in this way observe Kashrut? Thanks!

Response:

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Adoption, Ethnicity and Jewish Baby Naming

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Adoption adds special considerations to rituals for welcoming a new baby or child. Here is one recent example:

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Why Jews Leave a Small Stone When Visiting a Grave

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Why Jews Leave a Small Stone When Visiting a Grave
This article is dedicated in memory of Rabbi Michael Tayvah—friend and colleague

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Hand Washing, How to Do The Jewish Spiritual Practice of Netilat Yadayim

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

"Wash your hands!" This is a basic message which our inner child recognizes instantly. Increasing the moments of significance in life is a major function of spiritual practice. At times this leads life to resound with the beauty of pure awareness of the simple importance of a single movement.

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What to Put on Parents' Gravestone?

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

I have to decide by tomorrow what to put on my parent's gravestone. They are doing one together. Any ideas?

In many ways the process of deciding what to engrave on the headstone - matzeiva-  is part of the spiritual process.

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What is Shabbat? A Time Manifesto

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Once normal to civilizations,
The observance of holy days
Has become a radical spiritual act of self care.

Sacred time is shareware.
It’s free.
The only condition is you have to use it before you go,
There’s no refund at the finish line.

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How to Hang a Mezuzah

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

PREPARATION 

1. If possible do this as a Hanukkat HaBayit by inviting friends to participate with their presence. The root of Hanukkah is kh-n-khkh, which has meanings with nuances such as education, dedication, enlightenment, consecration. It's nice to do this on a Saturday night, after offering a Havallah ceremony to end Shabbat.

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Will my grandchild be Jewish if his mother who has converted to Judaism has stopped her religious practice?

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram - Resume
Dear Rabbi Milgram: My son married a woman who converted to Judaism through the London Beth Din. She now refuses to follow any Jewish practice. Is her conversion still valid? They have a baby boy who is now a year and a half will he be considered Jewish? By the way she forbids me to have any contact with the child. She is highly unstable and also prevents my son from having any contact with me or his brothers. I am in regular email contact with him. We are a shomer mitzvot family.... Though I doubt my son keeps anything now.

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Creating a Personal Community

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

A personal kehillah, "community" is a small group of mentors/advisors that the student and family create to meeting monthly and contemplate the roles and issues of adulthood, to help the student emerge with dignity and awareness into adult life. Besides, it's terrible to be isolated and this can happy in suburbia, small towns, and some families - here's how to get past all that to meaningful connections. [Credit for the basis of this idea is due to Rabbi Geelah Rayzl and Dr. Simcha Raphael.]

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Kippah: Understanding and Appreciation of the Yarmulke

By: 
Rabbi Goldie Milgram -Bio Brief

Why a Kippah?

A Jewish person who is wearing the little round beanie called a kippah, or a yarmulke, or scull cap is doing so as an expression of his/her deep desire to live a mitzvah-centered life. This person is willing to be seen in public as a Jew and to have her/his actions reflect on the Jewish people's values and practices.

Wearing a kippah is a reminder to yourself that your actions in the world matter; that you can personally bring a sense of God, of holiness and all the possible goodness into the world by how you live.

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