Teachings: Spirituality For Lifecycle Rituals

Water symbolizes the presence of G*d for those who read the bible through a mystical lens. G*d as water traditionally symbolizes flow,

Every human grouping has its own genetic disease risks, as do those with Jewish ancestry. Some genetic diseases cause death with great pain or deformity in infancy or early childhood. After having four of his children die in infancy of Tay Sachs disease, an orthodox rabbi, Josef Ekstein founded an organization that pre-screens couples before marriage to assess whether their genetic combination could result in a child with a deadly disorder. His organization, Dor Yesharim, “Upright Generation,” uses the power of the rabbi in Rabbi Ekstein’s part of the spectrum of Jewish practice to rule that the couple is ineligible to marry. Grounds for such activism might include an interesting use of the mitzvah of periya u’r’viyah, to be fruitful and multiply. Because such a couple might not be able to produce a healthy child and thus be unnecessarily deterred from fulfilling the mitzvah of reproduction, their marriage is not considered beshert, authorized by heaven or meant to be. The mitzvah to not stand idly by when the life of another is endangered applies here as well. As Maimonides put it: [Hilhot Roze'ach, 11:4] "It is a mitzvah to remove and watch out for any obstacle that could endanger life, and to be extremely careful doing so."

Day 33 of the Omer is a traditional time to hold a haircutting party ritual for the giving of a first haircut to a Jewish child, which is generally not done until about three years of age. The upsherin ritual itself is simple, and as in every mitzvah, it is yours to elaborate as desired, keeping in mind age appropriate length and activities.

1. Select some photographs of those who have passed on in your family and personal life.

2. Set up a tray of water (for safety) in which you will place thick white memorial candles which are sold in glasses for each first degree relative who has died during your life time. (Siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, some also include grand parents and dear friends.) Candles which will burn for a full day are sold in Jewish specialty stores for this purpose.

3. Set the photos out around the tray.

4. The evening when Yom Kippur begins is known as Erev Yom Kippur. (Erev means "evening" and Jewish days begin at sunset) At this time, gather your family to light yarzeit, "memorial", candles for each first degree relative who has died during your life time.