Introduction to Adult Bar Mitzvah and Adult Bat Mitzvah

Is An Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah the Right Rite for You?

Check all that apply to help your decision-making process evolve:

-You are passionate about certain ideas and ideals. You’d be interested in seeing how Judaism approaches them and would love a way to bring your family and friends together to speak with them about this.

-You want to explore the meaning, relevance and substance of Judaism or Jewish history, culture or practice in greater depth.

-You feel that your understanding or practice of Judaism is more developed in some areas than it is in others.

-You had a B- mitzvah at twelve or thirteen but felt it wasn’t worthwhile, and you would like to revisit the experience with good mentors through the lens of greater maturity. To coin a phrase, you would like a Re-mitzvah.

-You were denied a B-mitzvah when younger as a result of your family’s perspective or gender discrimination and really want to have one.

-You are in a chapter of your life where you would like to take on the responsibility of putting time into new learning and organizing a gathering of friends, family and community to witness your adult rite of passage.

-More secular than religiously inclined? Focus on Jewish culture more so than religion in your studies. Some groups such as Folkshul have the tradition of creating a ritual that isn’t synagogue-skills focused. One such bar mitzvah started with a Yiddish song about labor rights. The student then handed out a page of quotes from Jewish rights activists past and present. Those present studied them in groups of two, and the student taught about the connection between Jewish values and pending legislation regarding guest workers. An Israeli dance teacher then taught three dances, and the rite closed with a song by an Israeli composer and a pot luck meal.

-You have talents to bring to your experience, and learning differences too. You might want to write and perform a ballad, ballet, play, photo-essay, painting series or movie about your Torah portion instead of giving a Torah talk. Or play the tunes on an instrument while someone else reads rather than chanting from the scroll. The options for creativity with integrity are virtually endless, depending upon where you will hold your ritual – synagogue, back yard, retreat center, etc.

-You have access to the kind of study mentors you need to learn in your own best ways. Think of those who “do Jewish” in ways that attract your attention in positive ways. Could one or some of them mentor you in your bar/bat mitzvah learning and ritual preparation adventure? You can also enrich your studies with weekend retreats and travel to be mentored by authors and teachers who specialize in your interests.

Need mentoring options? Consider conference calls, web cam and on-line learning.