Deep Jewish Wedding Meditation: With or without a Veil

It is the heart-felt desire of the wedding couple for all present to welcome them with a simple chanting of a verse from the Song of Songs: "kol dodi hinei zeh bah, The Voice of My Beloved, Here It Comes." The couple close their eyes, swaying to the profound truth, savoring the holy sound of families and friends together.

Note: This powerful ritual can be done with our without a physical veil.

Now comes the moment of bedeken, veiling. Calling for silence, the veil is symbolically lowered, and then lifted and the couple beholds one another, their eyes awash in feeling; they both want to be here with all their hearts.

There are many veils between people, including the roles we take on in life. At my instruction, at home, they have made a list of these roles, to privately contemplate the impact their roles have upon their relationship. This is one of many stages of spiritual preparation available to help a couple arrive at the huppah open and joyful.

A new chant begins, to help remove the veils of the roles. Those gathered around have it on their song sheets; they pick it up quickly and join in easily. Aneini Yah Elohai, ha-meir eynai, "Answer me, oh my God, enlighten my eyes."

They begin chanting softly, dropping their focus upon one another and letting the chant become a prayer, I see their gaze turn inward. The groom whispers the first role on his list, "professional actor" and his bride looks up into his eyes. Out through the portal of that loaded role word pour an ocean of meaning and memories, some shared, many from before they ever met. She moves her hands as though lifting a veil from his face and his role as a professional actor is lifted, as I signal all present to join into the chant.

Her turn. She whispers, "entrepreneur" and the word hovers with implications for their life together. He lifts the veil of entrepreneur, and we continue with the chant. Role by role, they become lighter and lighter as, in this second marriage, we hear such roles as:  "mother", "father", "author", "gardener", "feminist", "critic", "detail person", "American", "Canadian", "golfer", "painter", etc. Each role is a veil over their core selves.

Now no more words or veils need be lifted. They stand as shimmering, golden souls, beings of pure flickering light, soon to braid their souls in marriage under the huppah, wedding canopy, that awaits outside.