Description of a Traditional "Get" Ritual

First, there must be a trained scribe who is knowledgeable about formatting of a get and who will write the document in formal Hebrew calligraphy. S/he will use a heavy wooden, unleaded stylus to inscribe the back side of a heavy sheet of paper or parchment with twelve long straight lines. Then, two half-lines will be impressed as well. There are many additional technical customs, about such things as margins and use of space on a line. The paper is then turned over and the tops of the letters of each word are penned to hang from the almost invisible lines.

Essential details appear in the document, including the precise location of the writing of the get (some use meridian degrees or geographical features such as rivers, mountains, or oceans, that are unlikely to change in the event of wars), the date, the textual formula for separation, and the signatures of witnesses. To make sure that someone does not attempt to use another's get, all of a person's nicknames, Hebrew names, and secular names are written into the document as well.

Witnesses to such a Jewish divorce cannot be relatives. They must be adult males who are considered to be objective parties, observant of Jewish law, and who have no direct interest in the outcome. A court of at least three rabbis, a bet din, is convened and a scripted dialogue somewhat like this ensues: "Do you give this get of your own free will? Are you under any duress or compulsion to give it?"

The husband replies and the court continues: "Perhaps you have bound yourself by vow or any binding statement which would compel you to give a get against your will?" Husband replies and again the court continues.

The process of assuring the husband's clarity and freedom to give the get is further examined until he declares that even if it is possible that he ever said anything that contravenes his current intent he declares it null and void.

A scribe now presents the writing materials and supplies to the husband, declaring them to now have become the husband’s property. The scribe only acts on the husband’s behalf. The husband now instructs the scribe to write a get of divorce - lishmi, lishmah, u'lesheim geirushin, for my sake, her sake and with the intent of effecting a divorce.

There is more dialogue empowering the scribe and finally the document is written. When it is finished the witnesses read it and before signing indicate to one another that they are signing it lishmo, lishmah, ul'sheim geirushin. A dialogue ensuring that this is indeed the get the husband commissioned begins anew. The earlier dialogue concerning his intent is essentially repeated. Every chance for a last minute change of heart is offered again and again. Finally, those gathered are offered an opportunity to give testimony to prevent what is about to take place.

The wife is then told to remove all her jewelry and open her hands, palms upward. The scribe folds the get and gives it to the rabbi facilitating the ritual, who gives it to the husband, who must hold it in two hands and then drop it into her hands saying: "This is your get, and with it you are divorced from me from this time forth so that you may become the wife of any man."

With get in hand, the wife turns and walks out of the room (in some places she walks just a short distance away in the room), returns, and hands the get to the facilitator, who reads it aloud again, asks the scribe and witnesses to identify the get as the correct one, and then reminds all present that any person who tries to invalidate a get after it has been delivered will be put outside the pale of community life and shunned as non-existent.

The four corners of the document are now cut and the facilitator retains it in the court's files. Husband and wife are each given a copy of a certificate of divorce to certify the dissolution of their marriage under the Jewish law of their community. When one spouse prefers not to attend, prior arrangement is made with a shaliah, a “messenger” to deliver the get and obtain a signature of receipt.