Before the sun sets today there is still time for today's Day Five Omer practice of Hod sheh b'Chessed. Hod—incubating splendor nestled within the embrace of Divine Lovingkindness, i.e., Chessed. While contemplating this pair of sephirot at sunset last night and now, I sense a prodding around my heart, it is orange, the color Reb Zalman associated with Hod. Here it comes within again and again, as though asking for attention. The prodding is not painful, it's…almost…a memory? So I welcome it, asking: What do you need? Why have come?
The memory manifests quickly; I can hear the voice of Mary (Marion) Hendricks-Gendlin, whose dear soul ascended into Mystery on March 28th. It is a memory of being at her bedside last year, for she'd long been ill. Mary welcomed my offering hashpa'ah--Jewish spiritual direction--guiding her with the Focusing method she and Gene developed. Almost immediately she lights up saying: 'There's a prodding around my heart'. Mary then proceeded to teach me a remarkably nuanced way to elicit a deep pre-verbal knowing--what I would call guidance from the Source--starting with attentive respect to that prodding by personifying it and setting it outside herself to address it.
Well, Mary, I can do that now. Bring the vivid orange color of "Prodding" and look at it as though I am its best friend.
"Prodding, are you Mary coming to say hello, or is it goodbye…yes, it is goodbye. Oh, what a profoundly loving goodbye, such a deep purple light arises from Prodding, Reb Zalman's color for Chessed…Mary, is this your good-bye for now? The light is intensifying, yes. Mary--I am so grateful to Reb Zalman for bringing you both into our lives--dear, brilliant, spiritually exceptional Mary, and your beloved Gene (who thankfully yet lives)!
I can see Mary's face on the upper right of my field of vision—outside of me and in a far younger form than I'd known her. Why is that always the case when ascended souls appear to me? She is showing me Gene below her, in their living room…Mary, I promise, it's already planned. We will go to him first thing when we head north…her face becomes radiant and Mary vanishes.
So "Prodding", why are you stronger now and more orange than ever? I have learned from Mary to respect such a "felt sense". So in my spiritual imagination I, too, set Prodding out onto my cupped hands. With focused consciousness my whole being attends to Prodding, as when a best friend might lovingly come over to see us when times are rough. Indeed, if we aren't best friends to every aspect of ourselves and the story of our lives, who will be?
Gathering the purple light of Chessed within me and I regard Prodding--its orange color softens and Prodding shifts into a vivid painting of joyful colors. "You want me to finish the watercolor of South African beach boxes I am making for Barry'?" Guess not, the orange is returning and a question arises within my soul:
What Hod--splendor am I incubating within that needs to be wrapped with the qualities of Chessed--abundance and overflowing lovingkindness?"
The painting turns to entirely slowly swirling orange and purple hues and across it words emerge from the newest of our mitzvah cards:
shilu-akh ha-kan
The Mother Bird Mitzvah
If you come upon a bird's nest, be sure to send the mother away before taking her eggs or young. Have compassion. Let her be free to birth again. Not all is ours to take
for food or gain. Species need our attention and care to continue. --Deuteronomy 22:6-7
Indeed, Mary, the mother bird of the Focusing Institute has left her seeds of wisdom for us and it is time to release her soul. The purple intensifies, so that's good. But now, the orange returns strongly and as I contemplate some pinks and then--I get it!
A shift happens within that is pure joy and clarity about what I have been incubating that feels to be such a glorious assignment. I have been inching toward creating a second deck of mitzvah cards, the first [3]was ages adult through about 10, these would be for ages 5-9. Have been incubating the concept gradually, so, ok let this be a spontaneous morphing into a call for volunteers to help who know how to create games and perhaps apps, artists to make them as beautiful and inspiring as possible, and some who can expand our wisdom about introducing such spiritual practices to this age group without, as Arthur Kurzweil says, dumbing Judaism down. Email [4] if you are one of these volunteers just waiting to be asked.
Vivid purple is now dancing an opening womb around a deeply sweet orange.
What are you incubating that can benefit by being surrounded by divinely overflowing lovingkindness?
This has been Omer Day Five.