Ritual for Converting to Judaism

Planning a conversion ritual for yourself, a friend, congregant or a baby? Welcome to this tent of a loving, hopeful, caring people. Consider the ideas below. If what you really want to do is reflect on concerns about male circumcision a bit more, here is a remarkable experience that shifted my thoughts on the rite.

1. Who will be at the ritual? I recommend a few close friends (1-3), a few family members (if this feels safe and appropriate (1-3 or 4), the bet din (3 rabbis or ordained cantors, or in some cases available committed Jews). A minyan is not required. Too many people dilute the profound spiritual intimacy of the moment...often this ritual is nice in the smallest possible gathering. [Later, on Shabbat,

 one can elect to go up to the Torah for a blessing in your full community.]

(Those who will participate in this ritual as the "community" or "bet din" have our own work of preparatory purification of our intentions. We must set time in our day for this.)

I like to meet with those attending the ritual while the person who is becoming a giyur, "convert" prepares him/herself by getting into a comfortable robe. I teach those gathered a verse for welcoming adapted from that traditionally used at weddings (this is, after all, a commitment ceremony), the tune for it by Rabbi Shefa Gold is quite lovely and easy. Barukh ha bah, brukhah ha ba-ah (Bless he who is entering, bless she who is entering), n’vareikh et ha kehillah (Let us bless the community!)

Chant it over and over, develop a group sound, send it to The Source, then send it toward the one who is being midwifed into our people. The leader nods to one person to go and bring the special one into the midst of the group. Keep chanting, wrap him/her in the chant. Then be silent for a long warm while in the womb created by your intentions you embedded within and through the chant.

2. Then each person attending this aspect of the event briefly and warmly introduces themselves and how they are connected to the moment...by way of building an understanding of the kehillah, special community which has gathered. This person is now part of the minyan of your life! These people are now part of the minyan of your life.

I usually suggest that if possible each person bring something fragrant to add to the celebratory nature of the event and create an olfactory memory....some bring mint or eucalyptus leaves, hyacinths, or roses (check to make sure about allergies....) As introductions are made pass the fragrant items around. This is reclaiming "rayakh ha-nikho-akh" the ancient practice of drawing God's attention to an intentional Jewish ritual through a organizing a "pleasing scent."

3. If it is comfortable for you when approaching this moment, I have the person who is converting teach or lead the chant/prayer "elohai neshama she natatah bi t’horah hi" (My God the soul which you placed in me is pure) to/for those who have gathered. This is a prayer traditionally said each morning and for preparing for a mikveh. Again, take the chant long and deep, create a pool (some say it feels like a cone or mountain) of energy with the chant..the person who is converting can enter the circle and immerse in the chant.

4. At this point I say something about the incredible privilege of engaging in the sacred mitzvah of midwifing a soul into the Jewish people.

5. Then the person converting tells the story of their path to this moment. If it is an infant conversion then the adopting parents tell the story. This re-telling is very important.

[Recently I work a lot with people in Europe who believe they were born with a Jewish soul and who are consistently turned down by the rabbis overseas for conversion because this spiritual reason strikes them as implausible. Many others are non-Jewish partners who realize over the years that they have been living a Jewish life in their home and shul with their Jewish partner for a long time and that they very much desire to join the people formally. Others, often fairly young people, come forward with a crystalline clarity that there is a deep truth in Jewish spiritual practice that they passionately desire to live. Every person's path story has blown my heart and mind and is forever emblazoned in my soul stream as precious.]

After the telling, each receiver looks the person in the eye and says "shamati" ("I have heard you" and the person’s secular name.....for example, Shamati Rivka.), sh’ma is a deep, keyword in Judaism which is in a verse from Deuteronomy which we recite at bed time, in each prayer service and at the moment of our death (shma yisrael Adonai eloheynu Adonai ekhad.)

4. Then the subset of those present specified as members of the bet din "court" are invited to ask a question of the person who is joining our people (becoming Jewish is more than taking a new religion, it is a whole peoplehood.) I speak to them in advance encouraging questions which will connect to the powerful spirituality of the moment, rather than "testing" the person. Nice examples have been: "Let us add a moment of yizkor, sacred memory, to this moment. Who's memory or spiritual presence might you like to invite to be with us at this time...perhaps someone from your family or someone from the Torah...?" or "what blessing would you give to God and or the Jewish people at this moment in your life?" or "Which story or character in the Torah speaks to you most at this time in your life?" If the person had come from another religious tradition, I will ask them to describe what it is they are setting aside religiously and what it is they see themselves as taking on.

If a circumcision or tipat dam (drop of blood) is been involved (the case with male conversions), then I ask the person to also read a reflection piece they have written on what it means to be "holy pro-creative" as a Jew. This has yielded many deep, magnificent writings on the creativity a man hopes to bring to our people....usually through tikkun olam (social justice) art, work in the world wrought in holiness, sometimes comments on the more sacred use of one’s sexuality are offered...and sometimes their view of procreative is through creating Jewish progeny.

5. We begin the elohai neshama chant again as it is time for mikvah. A moving ritual of the rebirthing of identity, immersion in a ritual bath, river, lake or ocean is a part of the conversion process required by almost every Jewish community. For each transition of the soul, our people symbolically wash or immerse in our symbol for compassion, flow, Presence, and loving-kindness, which is water. Our people do this at marriage, meals, conversion, death and returning from a funeral to family life. If the mikvah is at the ocean or a lake or river (my preferred medium for conversion)...then I create an aisle of roses about two feet wide and a few feet deep, pushed into the sand by the long stems for the person to walk through on their way into the water. (Thanks Daniel Cohen of Venezuela for the idea!) If at a regular indoor mikvah or as is sometimes the case in foreign countries, in a pool, then I sprinkle rose petals as they walk.

For infants, it's such fun to take them to mikvah because babies love water and the floating sensation. To dunk them, blow into the babie's face with a nice gust of breath and they'll close their eyes tightly and take a deep breath and skwunch up their nose and mouth, so they are once and dunked in a second and never even realize they went under. No sputtering or fuss, just a sweet moment of transformation.

6. I have printed the mikveh blessings in fabric paint onto a strip of fabric that can get wet. (This stays with the person as a gift for their future mikveh times....For example, I try to always have some form of mikveh before Shabbat, among other sacred times, it helps me to transition into sacred time). There is an attendant at most in-door professional mikva-ote (pl) for those who do not bring someone along to observe the "gutse dunk" and make sure that all of the person, every strand of hair is immersed in this rite of transformation. As a woman rabbi, I welcome males once they are redressed, but of course, do not witness their immersion myself.

Here is an interpretive English version with the mikvah blessing's traditional Hebrew:

Barukh, here I stand at the pond of life's blessings, atah adonai eloheynu meleh ha-olam, G*d-aware at the Threshold of Eternity, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al ha-t'veelah, through this guidance, the mitzvah of t'veelah, immersion, I am kodesh, a fully pure and holy member of the Jewish people.

7. When one emerges from the mikvah/mikveh have a loved one (if available) to greet them with towel and robe. We re-gather singing siman tov and mazel tov (from days of Judaism and astrology, wishing the person auspiciously "good sign and good star" to shine on this moment.) Then we sit in silence if the air temperature allows or dance in joy.

8. If this is not a mikveh pre-cursor to an immediate or next day conversion completion, then I send the necessary documents around for bet din signatures after reading the conversion document out loud (I use a combination of a work by Reb Zalman and a work from the Reconstructionist movement. When helping someone prepare for conversion who lives overseas, their local rabbi must be involved and use the local documents and local beit din.) At this time the "Jewish name" (Hebrew or Yiddish) that the person is taking is conferred with a mi-sheh-beirakh (traditional blessing formula). It’s appropriate at this moment for the person to share the reason for the name they’ve selected.

The tradition is to be spiritually re-parented, you are reborn in this ritual as "your Hebrew name bat/ben (daughter/son) of Avraham v'Sarah (or vice versa)". You add a second family, the Jewish people, and Abraham and Sarah and all their soul descendents (including me) become your spiritual family.

8. Then invite each person present to start with "Shamati ...........(this time use their new Jewish name) and continue by giving a blessing to this delicate new emerging Jew. If people want to give gifts nice options are a havadallah candle, spice box, mezuzzah, hallah cover, a Jewish books, etc.

9. Did we eat yet? Close with a snack. (I'm married to a South African, tea is de-rigueur.)

10. If you have entered the Jewish people, make your first mitzvah in your new life, give some tzedakah - funds to change the world, give it in honor of yourself!

May The Source bless you richly in life with good health, lots of loving relationships, personal safety, satisfying home and material goods, and the opportunity to actualize yourself over and over and over in many remarkable ways.