At last. My sister Leah and I had long prayed to our family deity, the
God of Nahor, and Jacob's family deity, the God of Isaac, to help us leave
this house. We had suffered such shame in the community for remaining too
long on our father's lands. At last we were to see with our own eyes the
wealthy family Jacob had described and join in their fabled destiny. Out
from under our father's scheming domination, we were finally to become
matriarchs in a household of our own.
So often sisters in conflict, we had no difficulty responding to Jacob
in one voice regarding Laban: "Surely, he views us as outsiders, now
that he has sold us and used up our purchase price. Truly all the wealth
that God has taken away from our father belongs to us and to our children.
Now then, do just as God has told you." (31:14-16)We had packed as lightly as we could, not that we could travel any
faster than the sheep. I had cast my eyes about for something of my mother
to take with me. Of course, the teraphim. Jacob would die if he
knew.
Fearing a confrontation with our father and brothers, we left while
they were far afield shearing sheep. It was ten days before they caught up
to us.
When father appeared, he was angrier than I'd ever seen him. He stormed
at Jacob, saying things like "What do you mean by keeping me in the
dark Why did you flee in secrecy? You did not even let me kiss my sons and
daughters good-bye!" (31:26-28) Suddenly, I felt ashamed. My father
seemed genuinely heart-broken. But then the Laban we all knew resurfaced.
"Very well," he said to Jacob, "You had to leave because
you were longing for your father's house, but why did you steal my
gods?" (Verse 30)
He had come for them. I backed into the shadows of the tent. Who would
have thought he would so value my mother's teraphim? Jacob answered
the secrecy charge with the obvious: "I was afraid you would take
your daughters from me by force. Out of his ignorance, he then added:
"Anyone with whom you find your gods shall not remain alive."
(verses 31-33) I almost gasped aloud.
In the way of women I felt powerless, trapped. I retreated quietly to
my tent as father set off on his search. In a daze I sat down hard upon my
camel cushion. Then it came to me, almost as though they had spoken aloud:
"b'derech nashim (31:35)- in the way of women" Quickly I
tucked the teraphim into the camel bag under me. And so I waited.
He arrived at my tent last. Father rifled through my belongings, his
fury and frustration mounting. As he approached my corner of the tent, I drew a
deep breath and silently called on the teraphim for strength from
beyond myself. Tracing their image through the fabric of the cushion I
declared in the manner of my people: "Excuse me for not getting up,
but the way of women is upon me."
Just like back at home, he moved past me without looking up, almost as
if I were no longer there. My stomach lurched at his nearness, recalling
my arms clipped back and his hand across my mouth as he told me of his
plan to substitute Leah at the wedding, forcing our compliance by
threatening to tell Jacob how truly close Laban and his daughters had
been.
Seven more years. My beloved, deceived, incredulous Jacob pledged seven
more years of service for me, thus taking me also to wife when my sister's
bridal week ended. (Verses 28-30) And Father never touched us again. It
was domination of Jacob that became his next obsession.
Father wheeled and left the tent. Even while counting on it, I couldn't
believe his disregard for my presence. I could hear the years of
self-righteous anger boiling over in Jacob as he finally found his voice.
The wind brought snatches of his ranting into my tent: "These twenty
years I have spent in your service, your ewes and she-goats never
miscarried, nor did I feast on rams from your flock That which was torn by
beasts... .I myself made good the loss.. scorching heat ravaged me by day
and frost by night.. .I served you fourteen years for your two daughters, and six years for your flocks... had not the God of my father... been
with me, you would have sent me away empty-handed.. God gave judgment last
night." (Verses 38-42)
I looked up toward the hills from where my help would come. We would
have our own household, put an end to living in my family's culture of
deception. Outside, talk of a treaty had begun. Father retrieved his pride
by voicing concern for our welfare, committing Jacob to take no additional
wives (31:50).
In the way of women, I caressed the new life growing heavier by day in
my womb.* I heard Dinah's dear voice drawing near my tent in song, always
restless. This journey will benefit her so. I shifted upon the teraphim,
and a sense of disquiet pervaded my soul. Was it about her future, or
about mine, or was it regarding the baby? My smile of triumph faded.
*Gen 46:15 "All the souls of his [Jacob’s] sons and daughters
were thirty and three."
Commentators' Note: We have drawn upon an upcoming verse
in the final line. Why does it say Jacob's daughters! We only know of one daughter,
Dinah. Here we have perhaps a record of what later was a miscarried daughter,
or was she pregnant with Benjamin? He is born at her death in
Gen 35: 16-18.
Either make better intertextual sense than the usual interpretation of
b'derech nashim as referring to ritual impurity conferred by
menstruation. The weeks just after a birth or miscarriage confer impurity,
or, simply the end stages of pregnancy would be a reason not to cause her
to get up.
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Part II
Part III
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