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Spiritual
Guidance
by
Rabbi Shohama Wiener |
Uncomfortable with God
Dear Reb Shohama,
I feel so uncomfortable with the word God, yet I keep searching for a
spiritual connection. The strange thing is that when I see a beautiful
garden or even a beautiful flower, I find myself thinking “Thank you,
God.”
Does this make any sense to you?
Thanks,
Renee
Dear Renee,
Yes, it makes a great deal of sense to me.
You probably were raised with a forbidding concept of G!d as a serious
old King on a throne, and have not adequately explored Jewish theology
as an adult.
(I try not to write out the "G" word to show respect for the awesomeness
of life and creation and yet knowing that humans can only dimly grasp
what might be the "Big Picture" of life.)
Jewish tradition teaches that there are many faces of the Divine that
G!d indirectly shows us. The natural world is the face that is most
easily apparent.
In fact, the great medieval sage Moses Maimonides, often called the
Rambam, taught that to build a love for G!d we should study the workings
of nature. Says the Rambam, “Now, what is the way that leads to the love
of him and the reverence for him? When a person contemplates his great
and wondrous acts and creations, obtaining from them a glimpse of his
wisdom, which is beyond compare and infinite, he will promptly love and
glorify him…” (Mishneh Torah, Ch. 2)
You have a keen appreciation for the beauty and wonder of gardens, and
intuitively sense that where there is a garden there is a Gardener.
There is a recent book by Rabbi Balfour Brickner that you may find
speaks directly to your question. It is called “Finding God in the
Garden: Reflections on Life, Love and Compost”.
Many blessings for your search,
Reb Shohama |
A Jewish Soul in a
Gentile Body?
Dear Reb Shohama,
All my life I have felt a warm connection to Judaism, although I was
born and raised in a gentile home. It kinds of feels like I have a Jewish
soul in a gentile body. Have you heard of such a thing?
Shalom, Joseph
Dear Joseph,
Actually, you are in good company. There are thousands of gentiles who
have felt as you do and sought out Jewish teachers in order to fully
“become Jewish.”
These newcomers are a great blessing to the Jewish people, as their
motivation is so pure and their desire to live a Jewish life so deeply
felt. Judaism does not proselytize to seek out converts, but when someone
comes to us with a genuine longing to join the tribe, we welcome them with
open arms.
You are wondering how this could happen, that a Jewish soul be placed in
gentile body. The teachings of Jewish mysticism explain that when a
person dies, the soul goes to “heaven”, and after a period of growth and
renewal, returns in a new body to continue its mission of learning. My
understanding is that because of the Holocaust, many Jewish souls were
afraid to return as Jews, and chose to come into gentile families. Yet
they “feel” a kinship to Jews and Judaism, and often seek to convert.
Many such stories are told in “Beyond the Ashes: Cases of Reincarnation
from the Holocaust” by Yonasson Gershom, Jon Robertson, Editor.
To further explore your attraction to Judaism, I suggest you search for a
rabbi and a Jewish community that feels right for you. There are many
different beliefs and ways of practicing Judaism, and every community has
its unique aspects.
If you tell me more about your location and preferences, I will try to
advise you.
Many blessings,
Reb Shohama |
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Can I Eat Soy on Passover?
Dear Reb Shohama, Your guidance would be
greatly appreciated regarding the following. We maintain a traditional
style Jewish home, and Passover is very important to us. As vegetarians,
how do we incorporate soy into our diets during Pesach without
compromising the holiday? Each year we struggle with this situation,
because soy is the major staple for us, providing a natural source of
protein in our heart healthy meals. Thank you for your advice!
Respectfully, George
Dear George,
The main mitzvot for Passover are to clean one’s house of hametz
(leavened foods) and to eat matzah (unleavened bread). The details of
implementation inform your question, which is an excellent one which
comes up more and more frequently as people are committed to observing
the mitzvah of shmirat haguf, "care of the body," and tzaar baalei
chayyim, "prevention of cruelty to all life forms." These two mitzvot work
together with the mitzvah of kashrut, keeping kosher, which ideally is
a health-conscious eating practice as well as one that is
tradition-conscious.
Passover traditions differ greatly by region. Sefardim (Jews
from countries bordering the Mediterranean, Africa and Asia) customarily
eat kitniyot (legumes), which include beans, peas, rice, millet, sesame
and sunflower seeds, corn, and peanuts. Ashkenazim (from Eastern Europe
and Russia) do not. Those who follow halachah, Jewish law, find these
communities actually have created different rules for Pesach food
preparation regarding these items.
Until our times, it was customary to follow the practice of the region
of your family of origin. But today families are far more blended than
at previous times, so choice is increasingly involved in setting up a
Passover practice for oneself and one's family. AND, it is recommended
by many rabbis and endorsed by some decisors of Jewish law for strict
vegetarians to adopt the Sephardi practice of eating unfermented soy
products on Passover.
I hope that this helps you in your dilemma. For a more detailed analysis
of how the three mitzvot connect, you can read here: http://www.rebgoldie.com/eco-kosher.htm.
And for more background on the eating and preparation practices for
Passover you can read here: http://www.rebgoldie.com/pesachrituals.htm
Blessings for an uplifting and joyful Pesach,
Reb Shohama
P.S. Here’s a recipe I found from searching Google for soy-based
Passover dishes. www.recipezaar.com
High-Protein Vegetable Bake #69768
by Cheryl Trooskin
This a great, flexible main dish for vegetarians trying to increase our
protein intake. It's low-carb
and even small portions are quite filling. Eat it hot for dinner or cold
for a post-gym lunch. You can use
any dark greens you prefer, but it's my favorite way to eat broccoli.
Add or substitute whatever spices
tickle your fancy -- try it with a tablespoon of dill; go Italian with
shredded fresh basil, ground rosemary, and extra garlic; or go
Mediterranean with cumin and coriander. If you substitute matzoh meal
for the wheat germ, this can be a fun gefilte fish substitute for a
vegetarian seder. Makes 8 side dishes
1 1/2 cups broccoli, cut into small pieces
1/2 cup kale, shredded
3 eggs or 5 egg whites
6 tablespoons milk or 1/4 cup heavy cream
28g isolated powdered soy protein concentrate (one scoop, about 24 grams
protein)
2 cups textured vegetable protein, flakes ("TVP", one cup dry flakes,
reconstituted, or prepared chunks, shredded)
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup fresh salsa
1 teaspoon garlic, crushed very fine
1 teaspoon chili powder
salt and pepper
1 tablespoon wheat germ or matzo meal
2 ounces parmesan cheese or romano cheese, grated very finely, divided
into two one-ounce portions (or more, if you prefer, especially if
you're using high-quality hard grating cheese)
Preparation:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Lightly coat the inside of a 9x9 square (preferably glass or ceramic)
baking dish with butter,
vegetable shortening, or cooking spray.
3. Boil or steam vegetables until tender.
4. Drain if necessary.
5. In a large bowl, whisk eggs, milk, and protein powder until smooth.
6. Add TVP, olive oil, salsa, garlic, 1 oz cheese, and spices.
7. Mix well.
8. Add green vegetables.
9. Mix well.
10. Pour mixture into prepared baking dish.
11. Sprinkle wheat germ and remaining ounce of cheese evenly on top.
12. Bake in 350F oven for 35-45 minutes, until firm.
13. If necessary, broil for five minutes to melt cheese and brown top.
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Why Do Bad Things
Happen to Good People?
Dear Reb Shohama, I recently lost my mother, who was not only a wonderful mother, but
also my best friend. She had a very hard life, but always prayed to God
and did good things for everybody. I don’t understand why God didn’t let
her live longer. Sincerely,
Joe
Dear Joe,
I am so sorry about your loss. It has left a big hole in your life,
and you, understandably are very angry with God. God can deal with your
anger. Tell God how you feel, and ask God to heal your pain.
We don’t know why bad things happen to good people. It is the most
difficult question religion has to answer. The Jewish tradition offers
many possible answers, ranging from “we can’t know God’s plan,” to
“justice will be done in the world-to-come and in a future life.”
I don’t want to pretend that I understand, but I offer you this thought
from Rabbi Harold Kushner, who lost a son at a young age to a terrible
genetic disease.
Rabbi Kushner says that God’s promise was never that life would be fair.
God’s promise was that we won’t have to confront the unfairness alone.
The 23rd psalm, which begins, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want,”
is the psalm most people turn to for spiritual comfort. It doesn’t say,
“In the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because there
is no evil in the world.” It doesn’t say, “I will fear no evil because
people get what they deserve and I’m a good person.” It says, “I will
fear no evil because Thou art with me.”
God is always with us, in our joy and in our pain. Our sages taught that
God weeps when we weep.
May you find comfort in your memories of your beloved mother, and in the
presence of God and those who care about you. One of the reasons for
saying kaddish with a minyan of worshippers is to surround yourself with
community. Little by little, you will feel less alone.
My prayers are with you.
Blessings,
Reb Shohama
PS. An excellent book on this topic is Does the Soul Survive?: A Jewish
Journey to Belief in Afterlife, Past Lives & Living with Purpose by Rabbi
Elie Kaplan Spitz. Also watch for the release of Rabbi Milgram's next
book: Living Jewish Life Cycle |
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Troubled: Hanukkah's
Stories Too War-Like
Dear Reb Shohama, I have been trouble getting into celebrating Hanukah, as the stories of
this holiday are so warlike.
Yours,
Sally
Dear Sally,
I understand your reluctance. The rabbis of ancient time also were
concerned about militarism in connection with Hanukkah as a religious
holiday and that is why the story of the miraculous oil that burned for
eight days appears to have been written down well after the period of the
Maccabees.
I believe the essence of the Hanukah message still has the power to bring
light into dark places. It may help to focus on the meaning of the word
Hanukah- "dedicate." The name of the holiday, Hanukah, refers to the
rededication of the Temple after it had been desecrated, and the survival
of Judaism as a living, breathing religion.
A Hanukat habayit is a
ceremony dedicating the home to sacred living, when the mezuzah is mounted
on each doorposts of a Jewish home. [Ceremony can be viewed
here]
It is customary in Jerusalem to place your menorah outside your door
opposite the mezuzah, and a Chasidic and American practice to do so in the
window nearest your mezuzah or on a table opposite the mezuzah. This is to
remind us to make sure that the light of Torah fills our menorah,
which is shaped like a tree, the tree of life from the Garden of Eden.
Every branch of the menorah's light needs to be dedicated to holy
intentions. In every generations we re-encounter Torah and rediscover, in
the light of the times in which we live, what it means to be holy. An idea
that might work for you is to light the candles of the menorah each night
with a different kavannah, intention, for making your home space dedicated
to a Judaism filled with life and spirit.
Hanukah is about half-way between Rosh HaShanah and Passover, the two main
holidays for personal and communal perfection. A suggestion would be to
dedicate each candle of Hanukah to a different ideal—like hope,
compassion, courage, humility, self-esteem, justice, patience, generosity,
and peace.
Another idea would be to have a
different intention for your home for each night of Hanukah. For example:
Night one: Focus on Israel in a way that will make you proud—find a book,
article, photograph, or memory. In Israel dreidels read: Nes gadol haya
po, A great miracle happened here!
Night two: Serve a Jewish food other than latkes. Your library will have
cookbooks and many groceries will have Jewish delicacies.
Night three: Buy or borrow a new Jewish book to read that will be
inspiring.
Night four: Play a new Jewish tape or CD, or watch a Jewish video
Night five: Donate extra to a Jewish charity that speaks to your heart and
soul.
Night six: Make or buy a piece of Jewish art for your walls.
Night seven: Make or buy something to wear of Jewish significance-
jewelry, or a kipah.
Night eight: Make or buy something for your home that will add grace to
your Jewish celebrations, for example, a more beautiful kiddush cup,
hallah cover or a powerful translation of the Torah, perhaps that by R.
Aryeh Kaplan, Elliott Friedman, or Everett Fox.
I hope these suggestions will prove helpful.
Hag urim sameach,
Happy holiday of lights,
Reb Shohama
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A
Rabbi/Cantor for the Wedding
Dear Reb Shohama,
My fiancée and I are planning our wedding, and we want a ceremony that
is traditional, but that feels like us. We know a rabbi, a friend of the
family, who shares our desire for warmth and informality. This rabbi
usually officiates by herself, as she has a nice voice. We also know a cantor who has served at our family’s synagogue since I was
a child. We would like to include him, but are concerned that his formal
operatic style will undercut the tone of the ceremony we are trying to
plan.
What should we do?
Sincerely,Sharon
Dear Sharon,
Wedding plans are rarely simple, especially when it comes to honoring
friends who are professional clergy. Often the vibrancy and spiritual
power of a ceremony are lessened by having shared leadership among people
whose styles don’t blend well.
There is a great difference between rabbis and cantors who prefer a great
deal of formality and those who prefer an informal, interactive approach.
Either style can be spiritually uplifting. Neither style is right or
wrong. But, they are different, and it is often jarring trying to blend
the two.
The formal cantor brings spirituality by presenting musical sound with
traditional blessings. The informal rabbi brings spirituality by engaging
the couple and the guests in the holy energy of bringing forth blessings
from G-d and from all those present.
It sounds as if the rabbi you have chosen will be able to lead a wedding
ceremony that will reflect your personality and desires. Usually a kol bo
(leader who leads the speaking as well as the music) holds energy best on
his or her own.
There are a number of ways to have your cantor enhance your celebration
without having him dominate the wedding ceremony. My suggestion would be
to ask him to sing a special song or psalm during the reception , or lead
Birkat HaMazon (the blessing after the meal) at the end. If you feel you
want him to participate in the wedding ceremony itself, he could sing one
song, or chant the Sheva Brachot, the seven wedding blessings that
conclude the ceremony. That way he would be included, but would not shift
the tone of the wedding.
I suggest you discuss these options with your fiancée first, and then with
the rabbi and the cantor. May you be blessed with the wedding of your
dreams, and a lifetime of happiness.
Mazel tov!
Reb Shohama
Note from site editor: Both Rabbi Shohama Wiener and Rabbi Goldie
Milgram are available to serve as rabbis for Jewish weddings. Also,
watch for the release of Rabbi Milgram's book, Living Jewish Life
Cycle: Creating Meaningful Rites of Passage for Each Stage of Life,
which has an extensive creative guide for Jewish wedding planning. |
Must I Believe?
Dear Reb Shohama,
I’ve finally found a synagogue where I feel joyful, peaceful, and at home.
Problem is, the Rabbi really believes in G!d and I don’t. I feel like a
fraud.
What do you suggest?
Sincerely,
Louise
Dear Louise,
My guess is that many of the people in this synagogue feel just the same
way that you do—they enjoy being there as part of the Jewish community,
they feel it’s
their home, but if you ask them about their belief in G!d they will say
they aren’t sure what they believe.
It’s OK. It’s more than OK, and I feel confident that if you ask the
rabbi, s/he will say the same thing. Judaism is a religion that encourages
quests and questions. Even for those who do strongly believe in G!d, there
are a multitude of ways in which this
belief is understood and expresses itself.
We recently celebrated the holiday of Shavuot, the giving of the Torah on
Mt. Sinai. The Midrash, a collection of rabbinic legends, says that each
of the 600,000 Jews who stood at Sinai heard G!d’s voice in a different
way. I have found this to be true. Each Jew that I talk to has a slightly
different way of understanding G!d’s presence and role in the universe and
in their life.
For some, G!d manifests in a intense spiritual experience—they see a
vision of light, or hear angelic music, or feel overwhelmed with love.
For some, G!d is inferred through the path of history, through the miracle
that after four thousand years, the Jewish
people are still vital contributors to the betterment of the world. For
most, G!d manifests through appreciation of the every day wonders of
life—the smile of a child, the hug of a friend, the beauties of nature.
The important thing is to be part of a Jewish community that learns
together and shares their spiritual struggles, their joys and their
sorrows. Al tifrosh min ha tzibbur—don’t separate yourself from the
community—is a basic principle of Judaism.
You say that you feel joy, peace and a sense of being at home in your
synagogue. To me, this is a clear sign that you are feeling G!ds
presence. We believe in an intangible G!d, Louise, and the way we know
G!ds presence is by how it makes us feel and act.
I bless you to continue your search, and at the same, be open to the
wonderful experiences you can have in your synagogue.
Reb Shohama
Note from site editor: Be sure to check out Rabbi Goldie Milgram's
Reclaiming Judaism trilogy for extensive guidance regarding issues of
G*d-connection.
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Sleepless and Worried about Work
Dear Reb Shohama, I am a practicing Jew. I keep Kosher, attend Shabbat services
regularly, and even attend morning minyan several times a week. Yet I
find I cannot sleep well at night, because I am too worried about my
responsibilities to my family and my business.
What advice do you have for me?
Sincerely,
Bob
Dear Bob,
You are not alone in your dilemma. In fact, it is a common complaint.
What I hear from your letter is that you are a doer—you perform many of
the most important mitzvot (commandments) in Judaism. Yet it is not
bringing you the peace of mind that you would like.
This may be because you have not sought the comfort of bitachon-
trust, and emunah- faith, that are available to you as a member of
b’nai Israel, one of the sons of Israel, and a child of G-d.
Just as we are to turn all our worries over to G-d on Shabbat, so too we
may turn them over when we go to sleep. In the traditional prayer said
before going to sleep for the night, an expanded version of the Shema, we
find the prayer of the archangels. (see Artscroll Siddur Kol Yaakov p.
294)
We are asked to imagine that we are surrounded by angels that protect us
through their vibrations, Michael on our right, the energy of love,
Gabriel on our left, the energy of strength, Uriel in front, the power of
vision, and Rafael at our back, the energy of healing. The prayer
concludes by saying that over our heads is the Shechinah, the Divine
Presence. Many find that visualizing these angelic energies and
saying their names brings a sense of calm and peace that allows them to
sleep without anxiety.
It is not easy to just turn one’s worries over to G-d; it takes practice.
Hearing other people’s stories can give us the courage to try. Rabbi
Zalman Schachter
Shalomi, a great modern day rebbe, teaches that G-d is like the most
powerful Partner we can imagine. It is important that we ask our Partner
for that which we
need, so that it can be given to us.
I remember clearly the day in 1978 I first asked for G-d’s help. My then
husband was seriously ill, I didn’t know how I would find the strength to
care for our three young children, and I was desperate. So I said to G-d.
"I don’t know if you exist, but if you do and you let me know, I will
listen and follow."
I felt G-d answer as a sense of warmth and love emanated from my heart. I
began to study Hebrew and Bible, and to pray regularly. Although I had
moments of worry and fear, I never again felt so desperate or alone.
Another way to build faith is through Jewish Meditation. Perhaps you can
find a Jewish meditation teacher who will introduce you to practices that
will build your sense of connection to G-d, and your trust in G-d’s
guiding presence. Alternatively, find a teacher of Jewish prayer and
blessings who really believes in their efficacy. Faith is caught, not
taught.
The great story of the Exodus from Mitrayim- Egypt, which we tell
not only at Passover but in every Jewish service, is to remind us that
Mitzrayim is not only a
political state but a state of mind. It literally means narrow place, and
refers to that state of anxiety and worry that comes from feeling we are
alone in our efforts to make things right. When we remember we have a
Divine Partner and ask for help, we will receive the help we need.
May you find the courage to make G-d your partner in helping with your
family, your business, and all your concerns.
B’vrachah, with blessings,
Reb Shohama
Suggested reading
"Reb Zalman’s Story: God as Partner," in Worlds of Jewish Prayer, eds. Shohama Harris Wiener and Jonathan Omer-Man, Jason Aronson, Inc.
Northvale, NY, 1993, pp.
283-286.
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Does
Circumcision Matter?
Dear Reb Shohama, My husband and I are expecting a boy, and are struggling with the issue
of circumcision. Our reading leads us to believe it is a barbaric and
patriarchal remnant of Judaism, causing unnecessary pain to the child.
Moreover, there seems to be no significant medical benefit. What can you
tell me?
Sincerely,
Susan
Dear Susan,
I understand your dilemma. There is a body of literature that portrays
circumcision in this way, and I, too, have struggled hard with this issue.
In addition to reading, I have consulted many rabbis, mohalim (rabbis and
physicians who do religious circumcision), and parents. Here is what I
have come to understand.
IS IT BARBARIC?
Some of the techniques used in hospital circumcisions seem barbaric in
that the clamp used is large, and cutting can take 5-20 minutes. This is
not true of a religious circumcision, called brit milah, covenant
of circumcision.
The mohalim, circumcisers, that I have seen, used a special device
that makes circumcision very quick; it takes only a few seconds. While
there is some pain
for the child, it is minimal, and the wine that is given the baby usually
quiets him down immediately. I recently participated in the brit milah
ceremonies of
my two grandsons, both of whom recovered easily and quickly. They nursed
immediately after the cutting, a sign that they were not in excessive
pain.
Men as a species are more violent than women. As a species, they can be
barbaric in their behavior. Circumcision is a reminder for males to use
their sexuality in a way that enhances human society, and not to be
barbaric.
IS IT PATRIARCHAL?
There was a time, not so long ago, when women were kept out the
circumcision ritual, and it was just a father-to-son bonding ritual. This
is not generally
true any longer. In fact, I co-officiated recently at the brit milah
where the mother held the infant during the actual cutting. Nowadays
mothers as well as fathers usually have a speaking role in the naming
ceremony that follows the brit milah, often called
"bris".
In the Torah, Moses’ wife Zipporah is credited with circumcising their
son, and today there are a growing number of women who are trained to do
circumcision.
Rabbi Goldie Milgram teaches that women have a natural covenant of blood
(the Jewish symbol of the life force) that manifests with menstruation and
childbirth, and that because of this women are naturally aware of the
sacred and awesome nature of life-- from generation to generation. Men
are lacking in this inborn covenant of blood; circumcision gives them an
opportunity to have a covenant inscribed on their body.
Circumcision is gender-specific, but that does not make it patriarchal.
It does make it a male privilege.
A MALE PRIVILEGE
I have for many years been among the women rabbis seeking to create
covenant rituals for baby girls that will have the power that brit milah
has for boys. Although we have written beautiful and meaningful
ceremonies, including rituals such as washing the babies’ hands or feet as
a sign of welcome, we have not been able to create the deep embodied sense
of covenant that goes with circumcision. There is a sense of irony for
me in hearing that Jewish parents would willingly give up the privilege of
circumcision for their sons.
WHY CIRCUMCISE?
Jews have been circumcising their sons for thousands of years. The Torah
says that G*d told Abraham to circumcise his son on the eighth day, as
part of a covenant with G*d. For the Jewish boy, it is a visible sign that
he belongs to a people committed to helping and healing the world.
The penis, which can be a force for rape and brutality, is rendered more
sensitive and vulnerable through circumcision, so that its bearer will be
mindful of being sensitive and caring in using it. It is an in-the-flesh
reminder for teenage and adult males that their sexual member should be
dedicated to ethical relationships. I understand the covenant of
circumcision made with Abraham to be a covenant to honor women and all
life, and not to rape and abuse any part of creation.
Susan, you may not think it important now for your son to be circumcised,
but you may well change your mind as time goes by. David Zaslow, in the
May/June 2001
issue of Tikkun magazine, tells the story of how he and his wife chose not
to circumcise their son at eight days, feeling that it was unkind. A few
years later David had a Jewish spiritual awakening, and came to feel that
circumcision was an essential part of being a Jewish male. With his son’s
permission, he had him circumcised at age 6, when it is a painful
procedure. His son said to him, "Daddy, I wanted you
to do it at eight days."
The rabbis and mohalim I spoke with all had many stories of young boys and
men choosing TO BE circumcised. A Jewish boy who is attracted to the
spiritual heritage of Judaism will probably want to be circumcised, and
having this done after infancy is
surgery usually requiring hospitalization, with a painful recovery
period. Remember, many Jews who are actively practicing their faith were
raised in families who were secular. It is a common occurrence.
IS THERE MEDICAL BENEFIT?
The controversy is over the statistics. Do enough boys benefit medically
from circumcision? For any male who has suffered with a penile
infection, or cancer of the penis, statistics are irrelevant.
I remember well the pain my former secretary went through as her son
suffered from repeated penile infections. Finally, at age four, he was
circumcised. A dear friend, not Jewish, shared with me the horror story
of her four year old son whose foreskin got caught in his zipper. He had
to be rushed to the hospital where the doctors performed an emergency
circumcision. Now that’s trauma! Both of those
unfortunate situations could have been prevented by circumcision.
A TRIBAL IDENTITY SYMBOL
Circumcision is a tribal symbol, marking a male Jew as a member of an
ancient people dedicated to a holy way of life. It is interesting today
to see teenagers and
young adults marking their bodies with tattoos and rings, as if they need
an in-the-flesh way of making a statement about their identity.
Susan, your son will be very aware that he is different from most other
Jewish boys as he grows older. Teenagers are very sensitive about
differences in appearances; they want to look like their friends.
Teenagers can also be cruel in teasing those who seem different, and I
have heard several sad tales from colleagues whose young congregants
shared their pain with them about not being circumcised.
What seems to you to be a kindness to your son, is, in my opinion, a
disservice. You are taking away your child’s choice to look like other
Jewish boys, to feel like a full member of his people. Remember that boys
often see each other naked, in locker rooms and at camp. By not cutting
his foreskin, you are cutting him off from looking like Jewish males have
looked for thousands of years.
Think about inoculations, which are also a little painful, with a short
recovery period. Parents choose to have their children inoculated for
their long-term health benefits. So, too, circumcision is a little
painful, but it brings the Jewish boy into his rich
spiritual heritage, marking him as a member of the covenant between G*d
and the Jewish people.
I hope that what I have written will give you pause. Your son will be
Jewish, whether or not he is circumcised. But he is more likely to feel
the full sense of pride in being Jewish if he is brought into the Jewish
world through brit milah, the covenant of
circumcision.
May you be blessed in your choice,
Reb Shohama
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What's This about Messiah?
Dear Reb Shohama,
This time of year the theme of Messiah rings in my ears constantly, due to
the Christmas season. And then I notice that many of the prayers in my
synagogue’s prayer book also talk about the coming of the Messiah. I am a
modern person. How do I make sense of this idea? Puzzled in Omaha,
Jeremy
Dear Jeremy,
I puzzled over this issue for many years, as it defies logic. However, I
have come to understand that many religious traditions celebrate Messianic
figures, people who brought extraordinary blessing and wisdom into the
world, and that there is much of value in this.
Traditional Judaism counts belief in mashiakh, or messiah as one of its
main principles, and Christianity learned this from Jewish
teachings. Judaism teaches that there have been many candidates for
Messiah over the millennia, but that the true Messiah will be recognized
because he will bring with him an era of peace and plenty, a time when the
lion will lie down with the lamb.
For Christians, Jesus is the Messiah whose return they await. One
contemporary group of Jews is also Messiah-centered. The late Lubavitcher
Rebbe, is seen by many of his followers as the Messiah. Lubavitcher
Hassidim (followers) pray to him, asking him to intercede on their behalf.
It is possible to fax letters with requests for spiritual guidance and
intervention to his grave, which is a sacred site for visits by those who
revere him either as a great spiritual leader or as the messiah.
Believing someone to be a
messiah occurs occasionally in Jewish life. Rabbi Akiva, during Roman
times, believed the Jewish military leader, Bar Kochba to be the messiah.
Bar Kochba fit the biblical understanding of messiah, which was to be a
person who would lead the Jewish people back to freedom in the promised
land of Israel.That did not happen, and later during the Ottoman Empire,
another candidate for messiah arose named Shabbati Tzi. When the Caliph
offered him death or conversion to Islam, he converted. So far no one in
history has proven to actually be the messiah.
Many contemporary Jews, including myself, belief in a Messianic Age rather
than an individual Messiah. Rabbi Goldie Milgram interprets the
Kabbalistic teaching on this as follows: The original light of creation is
present as the soul spark within every aspect of creation. In a human this
is your soul spark. This spark gets covered over by a klippah, a husk or
shell. This husk is made out of the by-product of a broken or traumatized
heart, unawareness, as in environmental insensitivity, and much more.
When you do the work of
lifting the klippot from your life, your light is able to shine out. When
enough of us do this, we will bring messiah consciousness so that the
energy on the planet shifts irrevocably towards goodness, love and
cooperation. There is research dedicated to this, described in the story
that follows.
THE HUNDREDTH MONKEY
This is a paraphrase of a report by Ken Keyes, Jr. in his book The
Hundredth Monkey; it is my favorite messianic story:
In 1952 on the
Japanese island of Koshima scientists were providing monkeys with sweet
potatoes dropped in the sand. The monkeys liked the taste of the raw sweet
potatoes, but they found the dirt unpleasant. An 18 month old female
found she could solve the problem by washing the potatoes in a nearby
stream. She taught
this trick to her mother. Her playmates also learned this new way and they
taught their mothers, too.
This cultural innovation was gradually copied by various monkeys as the
scientists kept watching them. Between 1952 and 1958, a certain
number of Koshima
monkeys learned to wash the sandy sweet potatoes to make them more tasty.
Only the adults who imitated their children learned this social
improvement.
Then something startling took place. In the autumn of 1958, a certain
number of Koshima monkeys were washing sweet potatoes—the exact number is
not known. Let us suppose that when the sun rose one morning there were 99
monkeys on Koshima Island who had learned to wash their sweet potatoes.
Let’s further suppose that
later that morning, the hundredth monkey learned to wash potatoes. THEN
IT HAPPENED!
By that evening almost everyone in the tribe was washing sweet potatoes
before eating them. The added energy of this hundredth monkey somehow
created an ideological breakthrough. But the most surprising thing
observed by these scientists was that the habit of washing sweet potatoes
then spontaneously leapt over the
sea—colonies of monkeys on other islands and the mainland troop of monkeys
began washing their sweet potatoes.
Thus, when a certain critical number achieves an awareness, this new
awareness may be communicated from mind to mind. Although the exact
number may vary, the Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon means that when only a
limited number of people know of a new way, it may remain the conscious
property of these people. But there is a point at which if only one more
person tunes in to this awareness, the field is strong enough so that this
awareness reaches almost everyone.
The underlying belief behind Messiah is that humans are G*d’s partners in
perfecting the world.
Jeremy, may you shine your golden light of love and compassion, and be
part of the Messianic transformation of our world.
Blessings,
Reb Shohama
PS There is a new book on the market that I think you would find
interesting—There is No Messiah…And You’re It, the Stunning
Transformation of Judaism’s Most Provocative Idea, by Robert N.
Levine, published by Jewish Lights.
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Where's
the Joy?
Dear Reb Shohama, It’s been such a difficult month, remembering 9/11, worrying about
impending war, and sitting through Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, focusing
on everyone’s sins. I want a religion that teaches me how to be happy. Can
I find that in Judaism?
Sincerely,
Andy
Dear Andy,
It has been a difficult month with all that has been happening in the
world. And you are right, Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur are the most
serious of our holidays.
But now we in the season of joy, the week of Judaism’s harvest festival,
HeChag, Sukkot. It is zman simchatenu, the time of our joy. Even as we sit
in a Sukkah, a fragile hut, we are aware of the beauty and bounty of life,
and also how tenuous it is. But we are commanded to sing with joy, and to
sing with our family and neighbors. In community there is joy.
We read from the Book of Ecclesiastes (Kohelet), "There is a time for
every season under heaven." Life is complex, with joy and sorrow
intertwined. It is important to come together with other people and to
celebrate, to really feel lasting joy.
It is important to be part of a community that cares about each other,
that is there for each in times of joy and in times of sorrow.
Finding a Jewish Community
It sounds to be like you have not yet found your Jewish community. There
are many wonderful, warm Jewish communities that celebrate all the
holidays with joy, including Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. Many of them
have their own websites, and can be found by searching on the internet;
most of them list their activities in the local Jewish newspaper.
If you live anywhere in the metropolitan NY area, you are most welcome to
visit the synagogue where I am rabbi, Beth El of City Island,
www.YourShulByTheSea.org, (adjacent to the Bronx and Westchester County,
NY), Tel. 718 885-3098.
May you be blessed to find a Jewish community that speaks to your heart
and soul.
Moadim l’simcha (To joyous times),
Reb Shohama
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Copyright 2006 Reclaiming Judaism
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